Scott's Story

(This was posted on Scott's facebook page yesterday morning at 6:17 am. I wanted to keep it here for posterity's sake.)

Woke up to Henry crying a little after 4 this morning, which Britta and I thought was just the normal feeding for him, but when she went to put him back in bed around 4:45 she came back complaining of "a moth the size of a bird" which flew into her face and was in the kids' room. (Honestly, it was before 5 am, I thought she was exaggerating)

I went in to get it and discovered a bat flying in circles. After sitting in the room with the door closed and ducking and dodging the bat's sorties for about 5 minutes, I realized that I needed a plan bigger than my fly swatter.

So, I googled it. Not while I was in the room. Apparently catching a bat is very similar to catching a spider. Well, a flying spider with (potential) rabies, which may or may not turn to dust or glisten in direct sunlight, but either way, has the personality of a sullen teenager.

I decided that my best strategy was to wait for it to land. Bats have quite the energy reserve and a ton of endurance. After what seemed like an additional 45 minutes (but was more like 46 minutes), the bat finally landed - and hid! When I went in the room, I couldn't immediately find him.

Checking under the furniture revealed two little arms sticking out from under a dresser. Its escape blocked behind by some padding, I tried to coax it out into tupperware, to no avail, so I moved the entire dresser, hoping that the vampire wouldn't start flying again. He didn't.

This is where the spider-catching skills came to full-force. I had conquered my foe and overcome my enemy with the sheer courage of a warrior in battle who tiptoes behind a lower species with a tupperware in one hand and the other hand on the doorknob of cowardly escape. Thankfully, my vanquished foe accepted its fate and conceded victory to a truly superior being. That would be me, if there was any doubt.

Now here I am to tell the tale. The bat is crawling around in a tupperware on the dining table as I decide whether to contact the health department for rabies prophylaxis.

Yes, I am the batman!